There was a time when I thought I had to control everything and everyone in my life in order to achieve happiness. What I learned, eventually, is what I really needed to control was myself: my emotions, my temper, my habits. My perspective.
As I reflect, I’m able to see that I’d planned too much, too fast, too soon. I’d left little room for chance or spontaneity, and spent much energy worrying and being afraid of losing control. I wasn’t letting life live.
After a streak of hard years and disappointments (most of which are credited to my attitude and outlook), I grew tired of feeling that I had to control every outcome. I’d hit bottom. If it had come a second earlier I’m certain I would’ve frozen.
Instead, I looked inward.
I realized that I was good at spending energy. I’d been spending a lot of it, but I’d been spending it improperly; I was spending the wrong kind. Recognizing the need to flip the script I asked myself, “how can I spin this so that the outcomes of my decisions benefit me instead of pushing me further, deeper into a hole?”
It’s cliche, yes, but I firmly believe that it takes the same amount of energy to be happy as it does to be otherwise. In most cases it can be as simple as succumbing to humility, acceptance, and making the decision to change for the better. So I plowed through another streak of hard years, but this time I climbed. I came to understand that my own happiness and success, or lack thereof, rested in my own ability, in my own hands. Everything else was out of my control. And I’m okay with that.
Do you carry weight or do you move it?